"A bad relationship is like standing on broken glass, if you survive it will continue to hurt. If you leave, you will be hurt, but in the end, you will heal."

So, the question is how do I feel after breaking up and surviving the six months of my last relationship? Hmm, I thought this is what I would tell you and I hope it doesn't hurt her though she will find out anyway. Just imagine it was just kind of my confession to myself when I lost him in February and had to stick around until August. So let me clear up a few points:

  • I was able to reconnect with my own family
This was the AHA moment when he came to my Parents house in the middle of the night and told my Mom about how his relationship with me had been when it was over and he refused to continue with the relationship we had . I remember the turning point after that moment was I apologized to my mom and our communication became open afterward it got better like nothing happened last year when I was away from my family because I chose to spend all day with and only for her. I realized at that moment, no matter how big a problem you have, family is where you come home to and because at that time all I had was him, I always put all my problems onto him and often did not find a solution. So loving others in moderation and focusing on yourself is important for your happiness. If he is serious about you, ask him to meet your parents immediately and determine when you will propose. Don't wait too long until you pass your master's degree and other burdensome requirements because later there will be problems that make you fight until you finally break up.

  • I can provide extra money for my family
I have a laundry business that I built last year with him but after breaking up I started to move on with my life, living alone and focusing on finding a new job that I explained in part I, I offered my mother to help I continued the laundry business when I didn't know who else to ask. He's gone, I'm blocked but I'm very happy to be able to get through this well even though my thoughts and feelings still need time to recover. I know I'm in a relationship with someone new and I love him but if you really want to know what I see our memories are hard to forget, every place in this city always reminds me of you even when I'm out with him. I know it's not good but I promised myself, sooner or later I don't want to make this too long because he gave me what you can't give; personal space, comfort, and respect.

  • I can have time to rediscover and get to know me
As we both know, I really don't have time alone when I'm with you because you always want me to stay with you wherever it is. But if you really want to know the truth, a part of me needs to go somewhere and there are moments where I want to go alone. The point is I want a relationship where, when I spend all day fulfilling my curiosity, I will come back to you and will share all my stories and maybe discuss with you like I used to. Activities such as: participating in several events or exhibitions, doing new things, or never doing what I want to do. I demand to have my own control, the ability to determine what I want to do. It's the missing piece that you don't realize or maybe forget because you try to have anything and anyone that you can control even though you don't realize it like that old story you once told about your room and often fought with your sister over stuff.

  • I am able to establish a relationship with a new person
I broke up because I really didn't have the feelings/comfort that I found in it and it's not appropriate to continue a relationship with him like that, how my life has always been under his shadow for many years, and this time I decided to have the courage to choose someone just to continue the story and heal myself from the trauma of toxic love. Thank you myself, you are great for surviving until now

  • I am able to re-establish relationships with people
So far I have always taken care of and avoided every meeting and invitation from colleagues/friends because I always put myself and this relationship first, even though actually a healthy relationship is one that gives distance to their partner without having to feel wholly owned and does not give room to develop and socialize

  • I am able to form relationships with new people
I broke up because I was really already upset and didn't get the comfort I wanted in it. Apart from that, I am also in an unstable condition by involving other people in our relationship. During this problem I introspected many things and recalled the memories I had gone through while I was his partner, to the point where I felt sorry for myself because my life had always been under his shadow for years focusing on himself as well as his happiness. Until in the end I had the courage to choose to end the relationship with him. Believe me, as a woman, you shouldn't be too domineering like that, and give your partner pause and distance so you don't get too stressed with the burdens and demands that you always hope for.

  • I am able to re-establish relationships with those closest to me
So far I have always taken care of and avoided every meeting and invitation from colleagues/friends because I always put myself and this relationship first. Even though it should be in a conscious state, in fact a healthy relationship is one that gives distance to their partner without having to feel fully owned so that one of them does not feel given space to develop and socialize. This is a lesson for those of you who are in a relationship, don't let your partner feel like this.

Actually there are still many things that I want to say but not all of them need to be written down here, the next part is much more exciting because there are a series of tips as concrete and solutive steps for those of you who are stuck in similar conditions so you can survive and carry out your activities by trying to be yourself. Alone. 

(Tulus - Diri)

A song that becomes self-reinforcing to start the stage of knowing yourself until you realize that you are very valuable. It is important to appreciate yourself occasionally to maintain mental health and make yourself grateful for everything that happens in our lives. May we always be safe and happy wherever we are.

#SemuaAkanBaikBaikSaja