"Until you let go of all the toxic people and relationship in your life, you can never be your self and grow to your full potential. Let them go away, so you can let yourself happy to find you." (Enggar Pratama)


Hello everyone, it's been a long time since I've seen any posts on this blog but thank you for always coming to visit. As I wrote in this title blog, let me tell you about my experience with relationships that I have had for at least 2 (two) years. And now I have broken up with him, it started precisely from September 18th 2021 and ended on February 18th 2023, and currently in a new relationship with my colleague in my last office before I was fired from where I started to know him.

I was an employee at the National Public Procurement Agency located in Kuningan, South Jakarta for almost 3 years as a support staff unit, and it suddenly ended in January 2023 because I did one wrong procedure even though I tried to help in the Sukoharjo Region but he as my partner doesn't support too much for the problems that happen to me. From then on I realized he had failed his part and was unable to make me feel safe and sound. Especially not being able to give me a reasonable solution and stand by me. If he's reading this, I wonder why he would do that when I always gave my all for him. Everything he wants I try to facilitate but if this is all the gift he can give me for 2 years of relationship simply can't compare to all the hard work I put in to maintain this relationship and sacrifice my time, money, energy and work to her.

At that time, I was completely shocked, scared, disoriented and depressed about what was happening to me. Trust me, losing the job you've taken years to build and having to start all over again just because you made one incidental mistake really hurts. Especially when you try to apply again where it is not processed or hard to accept because my name already input in blacklist system.

At the same time, you also have no backup plan to find a new place to work and your savings account is running low. Even though I had tried contacting my old friend and asking if there was any work I could do, even though in the end I was forced (because I had no choice) which made me work for a company. my parents' students as Operational PIC in a garment company. But I really don't like working with the people and the environment is very annoying. I can't have good conditions to make me grow and develop more so I decided to resign from there after 3 months of probation. It's a bad memory for me on my 25th birthday the year I have gone without him. If he forgets, I will remember that I was invited to his birthday and gave him a special gift. But where was he when I was in such a bad and difficult situation going through it alone? From there, I made sure he was unfit to accompany me in the future. I choose to break up, go and forget him as soon as I can.

Back to my work journey, thank God I'm currently waiting to sign a contract with a local bank as a relation manager, I like the recruitment process which is very professional, especially during the interviews which are conducted online. I also received an explanation that I had to try to meet the target every month that the company asked for and I really had to find investors or companies that wanted to put their money in deposits, current accounts, or stocks. It's really challenging, isn't it? New thing in new field and only need one year to work with best performance and achieve target then I will get promotion as full time employee in company. I can't wait to start working at the company, especially since I can choose which branch I can afford to make my job as a relation manager easier. bismillah please pray for all of us.

In one of the series of recruitment processes at the new company, especially in the medical examination section, I met one of his colleagues at Abang none Buku, South Jakarta, whose name is Non Intan. It was the first time we met and chatted in person, at that time we talked too much about each other, and at that time we were able to share the bad experiences that had happened in our relationship. He broke up with his girlfriend and I broke up with him too. Also, the reason why each of us dared to do this and start moving on with our lives is to survive in that state no matter what happens next. After what happened to me and non Intan, we agreed that it was a toxic relationship that had to end soon so we could live life and as a form of respect for ourselves.

"Bad/toxic relationships or toxic relationships always create problems that keep coming and don't give you comfort and security. So, you need a big change and courage to leave the relationship even though you love him and even he no longer wants you. The pain and heartbreak will usually fade over time rather than you being constantly stuck in a toxic relationship." (Enggar Pratama)


I think that's enough about the journey that I've been through, then wait for part II to be published on the next page, okay, I hope we can all find happiness within ourselves and fulfill that happiness without having to rely on or be involve other people to be responsible for what happened to you. nor your life.

#ToxicRelationship
#OwningCantWinning
#GivePersonalSpace&Boundaries
#TaurusvsGeminiisOver